Friday, December 2, 2011

My Narnia.


It's exam season. Exam season is always stressful and every year I think it can't get any worse... Except every year seems to somehow top the last in mind boggling assignments and terms papers all due at once.

I freak out every year around this time. I call me mom crying every year around this time. It's almost become a tradition. But, I've always made it through and I've always come out the other side with great grades.

This year, in an attempt to counter the incredible load of stress I am under, I've been clinging to Psalm 23. It's my go-to (along with Isaiah 43). The poetic scripture never gets old.

The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still water.
He RESTORES my soul...


As I was laying in bed last night, my eyes were swollen from crying due to the amount of unfortunate situations that occurred yesterday, I started saying those words over and over again. I closed me eyes and I said to myself, "Psalm 23 is a literally place and He wants to take me there." And I contemplated the reality of this place, the Lord began to liken it to Narnia. He said, "Psalm 23 is like your Narnia. Close your eyes and enter into the wardrobe of the word. Suddenly, you are royalty. Suddenly you have left a world at war behind and entered into a place of peace and victory. And it is beautiful"

I fell asleep rather quickly and woke up feeling refreshed. I realized on my way to class that I had forgotten to print out the paper I stayed up late working on (go figures) so I made a quick stop at the library and just had to run to class. After I told my classmate about what the past few days have entailed, he replied, "How are you even smiling?" In my heart I said, "I've been to Narnia"

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

EMBARRASSING...

This one time I was asked to name a animal that started with "TH" to which I emphatically replied, "THESAURUS!!!"

This one time I was told me meet my friend in the early afternoon. I showed up at 11am and called her to scold her for being late. I said, "Lindsey! I thought you said early afternoon?" To which she replied, "Missy, early AFTER NOON... as in AFTER 12." Oooohhhh riighhhtttt...

This one time my mom was hanging up curtains in my room. They were fairly heavy and she was struggling a bit. My dad looked at me and said, "Melissa, give her a hand!" and in all seriousness, I started clapping.

This one time my room mates friend had run away and no one could find her. Obviously my room mate was upset. While she was telling me the details of the story, I looked at her very concerned and said, "Where is she??" Good news is I lightened the mood because my room mate couldn't stop laughing as she said, "Missy, if we knew that, we wouldn't have a problem..."

Ya know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause" ... yeah, that's the dad dressed up as Santa. I always thought the mom was just being a skeeze.


I can't think of anymore off the top of my head, but as I remember, I'll be sure to share.

Monday, October 10, 2011

My life as....

the most forgetful person on the planet.

I would just like to do a simple recap of the past 2 weeks of my life and the things I have lost (and when I say lost, I mean, REALLY lost).

1. My computer charger (twice)
The first time I found it a day later in the library
The second time I found it, also a day later, in the office of the Liberal Arts Building where someone had so kindly turned it in for me. Tangled with it was my tablet charger (which I didn't even know was missing)

2. My keys (twice)
The first time I found them, also a day later, INSIDE a chair at the Wesley Foundation
The second time... well, I haven't exactly found them yet...

3. My debit card
Found TWO days later in Ellisville?!?

4. My phone
Well, let's just say that this might have been the situation that sparked this blog... meaning, I still haven't found that either.

Others... I lose my Student ID (which is also the key to my room) pretty much once a day, if not more. I've also lost my planner a few times... and in the midst of all of this, I've lost my mind.

I need help. Or a fanny pack.

The end.

** Sidenote. After I wrote this, I friend found my phone WITH MY OTHER SET OF KEYS that I didn't even realize was gone. EPIC FAIL***

*** Double sidenote. When my friend gave me my keys, i promptly threw them down in a fit of rage and then forgot to pick them up. They were later turned into the LAB office... again... ****

Friday, August 26, 2011

True Life.

I just thought I would share some interesting conversations I've had since I've been back at school.

1) While I was ordering some breakfast:

Lady- What's your name?
Me- Missy
Lady- Watch out now!
Me- Excuse me?
Lady- You're name is Missy! Watch out now!
Me- (awkward laugh)
Lady- Thank you Miss MISSY (emphasis on the Missy)

I'm still trying to figure out what that even means.

2) While I was walking to class

Friend: Sometimes I just think to myself, Dang, Missy Martinez is freakin cool!
Me: (interrupting) Aw! Thanks!
Friend: (finishing his sentence) but then you do something really dorky and I'm like, oh nevermind.

Burn.

Friday, August 19, 2011

In regards to us receiving complete forgiveness from the Father, Bill Johnson says,

"When the enemy brings up a sin from your past, he is talking about something non-existent. It's completely legal for you to say, "I didn't do that. The person who did that is dead."

What an amazing weapon against guilt and shame.

"We know that our old self has been crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin...For sin has no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace." Romans 6

"As far as the east of from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us." Psalm 103

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Plans: Part 2

This whole surrendering my plans thing sounds so nice and spiritual on paper (or, computer screens??) But, in real life it's scary... and messy. And a little harder than I thought...

"But you never said it would be easy, you only said I'd never go alone."
- Ginny Owens - If You Want Me To

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Plans.

As I quickly approach my senior year in college (Eeek! Such a scary thought), I've been meditating on a passage from Proverbs. "A man makes plans in his heart, but the Lord establishes his ways."

I am a PLANNER. Guilty as charged. I love to plan. I love to make plans, I love to follow plans. I've only recently learned in the last year to lighten up and greatly appreciate spontaneity. Well, I'm trying...

My current plan: Finish college strong, take a year off, go to law school, etc... And I like this plan a lot. It's been in my mind for a while. But what the Father has been teaching me lately is that even though we make plans (which isn't wrong to do), ultimately, He has the final word for what is to happen next in our lives, in my life. Ultimately, He ESTABLISHES my way, not my perfectly laid out plan. If I reach the end of college and find that I'm being beckoned in a completely different direction, then I simply go in that direction trusting His lead.

Plans are good. We all should make them. But they are a tool, not a guide. We follow Jesus, not our own agendas. I never want to be so wrapped up in my own thinking that I miss what the Father has in store for me.

Let us never think we have the way completely figured out. He can always surprise us.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

119

Your promise is well tried, and your servant loves it. (verse 140)

That is a beautiful phrase. Amen.

Friday, June 10, 2011


"It takes a little time, sometimes, to get your feet back on the ground." - Amy Grant


I wanted to write something insightful concerning the past year of my life and the experiences it entailed. But, as I began writing, I realized I had nothing to say about it.

Amy Grant said it all.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Safety in Numbers.

I believe the Lord takes us through seasons where we MUST rely on others. Yes, we need fellowship and godly friendship at all times, but the need increases at moments to accomplish a greater purpose.

The true beauty of a community of believers walking together lies in our ability to love and support one another under any circumstance. If one falls, the community as a whole responds in love and carries the broken member back to safety. It never abandons. By requiring unconditional love, the Lord tests our ability as a community to "carry one another's burdens" and remain faithful in the midst of hardship, offense, frustration, disagreement, etc. Can we love through the pain? Can we simply love? It is in these moments that hearts are saved and restored. (Not in the sense of salvation, but in the sense of the prodigal returning).

With that said, this community can not function properly unless we decide individually to open ourselves up and be vulnerable to one another. WE MUST ASK FOR HELP. The structure of the body of Christ only works if we rely on one another. The community is responsible for carrying one another, but the individual is responsible for reaching out.

In the past few weeks, and even within the past few days, I've realized my incredible need for others. My tendency is to recluse. But after spending the weekend with some of my closest friends, I found that my heart was naturally encouraged. It's not that we did anything "spiritual." They never prayed for me. (Our time together consisted mostly of just sitting around and drinking beer). But, something still shifted in me. Areas that I have been struggling with and wrestling over just gave way. By simply putting myself in the environment of people who are filled with the Holy Spirit and walking in love, incredible things happened within me. I remembered what it was like to be a part of that kind of community. It was beautiful.

Monday, March 21, 2011

This is the Way.


There is a graceful fluidity to following Father. I look back on the what seemed to be disastrous transitions and misplacements and I see a beautiful puzzle coming together. My life was and is full of awkward and sudden changes. But, I'm beginning to see how each part plays into the greater purpose. It is mind-blowing.

But, what's next? I feel another change is on the horizon. I hear the voice of the Shepherd gently leading me little by little in specific directions. While the Holy Spirit is so kindly leading me in one area, I feel in other aspects of my life, there is complete silence. I find myself getting so impatient with Him. Why can't I know everything right now?! As if He hasn't proven Himself as completely faithful and trustworthy... Praise the Lord, He is gloriously faithful and worthy of every ounce of trust we can muster up.

Instead of becoming stagnant in my frustration that He hasn't answered ALL my questions about what's to come, I'm moving forward in what I know He's made clear to me. I will not stop seeking for answers in the blind places, but I will walk confidently in what I know He HAS said. The rest will come in His perfect time.

"And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, "This is the way, walk in it," when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left." Isaiah 30:21

Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Higher Love

I had a wonderful Valentine's day for the first time in my life. But, it wasn't because I received the cliché stuffed bear and chocolates (which I didn't.) It was because I encountered a new understanding of the steadfast love of the Father. When I woke up, I wanted to be bitter. I wanted to have a pity party and raise the awareness flag of my single status. But the Lord invaded my thoughts with this word.

"Do you want to think about love today? Then revel in the unfailing love of your Heavenly Father."

I couldn't really argue with the Guy. He had a valid point. I am so incredibly loved by Him. Not in the cheesy, "Jesus is my Valentine" kind of way. But in an "I'm willing to die if it means I get to have you" kind of way.

When we fix our eyes on the eternal Love of Abba, the fleeting, shallow love that flesh has to offer loses its appeal. Why spend my time dwelling on that which can not satisfy when we have been offered complete fulfillment in His desire for us? We spend so much emotional energy fighting to find a release from loneliness that He has already eternal cured.

While all else will ever fade away, His steadfast love for me remains.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Insecurities are simply the lack of revelation that we are intricately created and woven together by the Father for a specific purpose. We are who He needs, wants and longs for us to be. He was INTENTIONAL in His crafting of His children. There were no mistakes. Our personalities, our spiritual gifts, even our physical appearance, all plays a part in His master plan of fitting us into a beautiful bigger picture called the body of Christ.

Today, I re-applied to work as a Resident Assistant at USM. I had to make a presentation to my boss of why I thought I should be rehired. This is what I made:


It's my heart. With all of it's special compartments... Uniquely me.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Fun.

I went for a bike ride today. It was my first bike ride in a really long time since Betty was stolen earlier this year. : (

We went to a park. And it was fun.

Sometimes, the soul just needs a big ol' dose of good times.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Keep Walking

Deliverance is a *snapping fingers* moment. But if I never walk away from that which I have been delivered from, I am never truly free.

When the Israelites were freed from the oppressive bondage of slavery, Pharaoh's words extended freedom to them in an instant. They went from a people of captivity to those who could rejoice in unrestricted liberty. BUT, if they would have chosen to remain in Egypt, working for Pharaoh, even if they were technically free, they would have remained a people of slavery. It was in the action of walking away from bondage that they became the freed people the Father intended them to be.

As of now, I am delivered. Yes, I am set free from the bondage of slavery to unforgiveness and anger. But, every day, every moment, is a conscience choice to move away from the area of that which had enslaved me. I choose to put away thoughts of malice and contempt and walk in the freedom of the Lord. The further I walk, the deeper I enter into the liberty of Abba.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Out With the Old... But Wait! Keep Their Stuff...

Retro is IN. Old is new in today's hip culture. Vintage EVERYTHING. And if it isn't vintage, at least it looks like it is. We obsess over our Grandparent's sweaters, mom's hippie attire, and dad's skin tight jeans from the 70's (which we USED to think were SO lame...). We listen to records on our record players (even though we have access to the greater music quality and quantity on our Ipods). We read old and worn copies of books (instead of buying the same ones brand new). I even had a bicycle that was my Great-Grandmothers and of course, it was a hit with the culture moguls. Modern is ironically becoming a regurgitation of old styles.

What interests me about this new trend is that while our culture is obsessed with old THINGS, it rejects the people and the values of the same eras. This same hipster generation that buys old, broken furniture in the name of vintage has been built upon a foundation of rebellion against "old" principles and standards. The hip movement bases its entire existence on a "we want to do things our own way" and a "screw authority" mentality. The values that carried our forefathers are no longer "cool" to stand by. But, their stuff is rad.

I'm concerned with the culture as a whole but I'm more concerned with the seeds this type of thinking is sowing into our next generation of Christ followers. This attitude not only rejects simple principle (such as respecting parents) but is beginning to reject foundational biblical values. For example, it is now acceptable to support gay marriage and abortion as a professed Christian in the name of "21st century culture." Being pro-life is only for old, right winged, stiff collared people. (FALSE!)

Proverbs 4 calls out to the younger generation to take heed of a (physical and spiritual) Father's counsel.

1 Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction;
pay attention and gain understanding.
2 I give you sound learning,
so do not forsake my teaching.
3 For I too was a son to my father,
still tender, and cherished by my mother.
4 Then he taught me, and he said to me,
“Take hold of my words with all your heart;
keep my commands, and you will live.
5 Get wisdom, get understanding;
do not forget my words or turn away from them.
6 Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
love her, and she will watch over you.
7 The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom.
Though it cost all you have, get understanding.
8 Cherish her, and she will exalt you;
embrace her, and she will honor you.
9 She will give you a garland to grace your head
and present you with a glorious crown.”
10 Listen, my son, accept what I say,
and the years of your life will be many.
11 I instruct you in the way of wisdom
and lead you along straight paths.
12 When you walk, your steps will not be hampered;
when you run, you will not stumble.
13 Hold on to instruction, do not let it go;
guard it well, for it is your life.
14 Do not set foot on the path of the wicked
or walk in the way of evildoers.
15 Avoid it, do not travel on it;
turn from it and go on your way.
16 For they cannot rest until they do evil;
they are robbed of sleep till they make someone stumble.
17 They eat the bread of wickedness
and drink the wine of violence.

18 The path of the righteous is like the morning sun,
shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
19 But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
they do not know what makes them stumble.

20 My son, pay attention to what I say;
turn your ear to my words.
21 Do not let them out of your sight,
keep them within your heart;
22 for they are life to those who find them
and health to one’s whole body.
23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
24 Keep your mouth free of perversity;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead;
fix your gaze directly before you.
26 Give careful thought to the[c] paths for your feet
and be steadfast in all your ways.
27 Do not turn to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.


We will not survive if we do not embrace the ones who have gone ahead of us. We must learn from their wisdom, not reject it. Biblical values do not "go out of date."

C.S. Lewis expressing his frustration this way:
"I have some definite views about the de-Christianizing of the church. I believe that there are many accommodating preachers, and too many practitioners in the church who are not believers. Jesus Christ did not say “Go into all the world and tell the world that it is quite right.” The Gospel is something completely different. In fact, it is directly opposed to the world."

I'm with Clive on this one...

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Gardening 101

I am the seed
HE is the water
The earth is the soil in which I've been planted.
Without Him, I am useless.
With Him, I grow.

Amen.

(Hosea 6, Psalm 65, Psalm 1)

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Words.

Until I have something more insightful to write about, these are the new words I've learned while reading my latest book:


Fortuitous- happening by accident or chance rather than design

Dubious- hesitating and doubting

Itinerant- traveling from place to place

Zeitgeist- the defining spirit of mood of a particular period of history as shown by the ideas and beliefs of the time

Insidious- proceeding in a gradual, subtle way, but with harmful effects

Mollify- appease the anger or anxiety of (someone)

Kitsch- art, objects, or designs considered to be in poor taste because of excessive garnishes or sentimentality but sometimes appreciated is an ironic or knowing way

Ubiquity- present, appearing, or found everywhere

Eschews- deliberately avoids using; abstain from

Maudlin- self-pitying or tearfully sentimental, often through drunkenness

Burgeon- begin to grow or increase rapidly, flourish

Sadism- the tendency to derive pleasure from inflecting pain on others

Erudite- having or showing great knowledge or learning

Evocative- bringing strong images, memories, or feelings to mind

My favorite find was zeitgeist. I thought it was a really interesting word and definition.

I love learning. The end.